Snooki: "It’s like putting a watermelon into a pinhole."

Just because you're little, it doesn't mean you have overlooked. Although Snookie doesn't fill that much space, she does her best to be heard, seen and be in the center. She dreams of moving to Jersey and marry a REAL Guido. She already went all the way in the first season and let's shake that thing!


So as a bonus for y'all. I made a list of Snooki's funny quotes while she was in Jersey Shore.

Enjoy.

• I am so excited because we are going to see the crocadillies.

• We are going to Space.. Space means like guidos juicehead gorillas, sexy, tanned, sweaty boys.. & house music.

• What I would love to find is a guido, juicehead with my style who's not a cheater 'cause I'm not gonna go on Match.com again.

• I thought I broke my vagina bone.. it was terrible.

• Angelina has sex with Vinny & doesn’t have sex with the nice guy? That makes no sense & that makes you look like a f*ckin’ whore.

• Snooki: I'm not white. JWOWW: What are you? Snooki: Tan.
• I'm just very excited for him to come over & ya know.. get it in.

• (talking about Vinny's d*ck) It’s like putting a watermelon into a pinhole.

• Do you know what gay guys do? They’re not attracted to vagina, they’re attracted to a**hole.
• Word of the day: sympathetic. That’s a big word.

• White's in in Miami.. what if you get your period? It’s ruined.

• I can't see any ice creams, I can't see any customers, cuz I'm a f*ckin' Smurf.
• Snooki: It hurts my vagina... The Situation: Ok, come down.. Snooki: No no, I like it!

• The glasses are pretty much all crystalled out, all bling-bling, but when you put them on you can’t really see.. so I don’t think you can't drive with them.. because you’ll get a ticket.
• I can't see........... do you have any pickles??
• Caller: Can I speak to Angelina please? ... Snooki: NO, she died.

• Emilo: How many balls do you want? Snooki: I want two.. in my face.
• I really don’t want to cheat, like seriously, I don’t want to.. but if you’re gonna hand me a bottle of friggin’ SoCo, something just comes over me, like I just go crazy.
• I don’t go tanning tanning anymore because Obama put a 10% tax on tanning. I feel like he did that intentionally for us, like McCain would never put a 10% tax on tanning.. because he is pale and he would probably wanna be tanned.
• Eating fried pickles was a life changing experience.
• Sammi: I just feel like I don't know. Snooki: I know how you feel.
• I am tanned; I like being tanned, BITCH!

• My ultimate dream is to move to Jersey, find a nice juiced hot tanned guy and live my life.

•  I am a princess at home, like, I am the f*cking princess of f*cking Poughkeepsie. Here, I am nobody, I'm like emotionally exhausted.
• Snooki’s staying and I’m ready to party. I’m ready to meet sexy guidos and I’m ready just to f*cking be single.
• My ideal man would be Italian, dark, muscles, juice-head, guido.

• Pickles is my thing.
• I had a feeling where I wanted to make out with somebody, so, umm, I just made out with Ryder, because all the guys like that.
• Mike can be a nice guy like, he shows his good side then he shows his jerk off side, that’s what I like: a good guy and a jerk off, it’s all in the same.

• Now I know that they all love me like I love them. Like, I stuck up for them - that's why I got hit in the face, and I think they realize that and they realize I'm a nice person and I care about everybody in this house and now they all feel the same way about me.
• She gives great advice. [in response to JWOWW saying, "Get some food. Feel better. Drink heavily."]
• I came home when they were putting in the lobsters, i was like yo, are those real? That's disgusting, I'm a vet tech. Like, I save animals, I don't kill them.
• That's why I don't eat lobster or anything like that cause they're alive when you kill it.
• I tried to eat but I couldn't get it in my freakin' mouth 'cause I'm disabled.
• I was pissed off, like right when I f*ckin' met a guy and I wanted to get his number and hang out with him we had to leave, just my luck.

• I hate guys. I’m turning lesbian. I swear.
• This one girl starts like charging me like a f*ckin’ hippo.
• Don’t bring home any f*ckin’ elephants like that ever again.
• She brought like 4 trays of frickin’ ziti, the sauce, ya know, all this food. We got amazing cold cuts, loaves of bread, I’m like ‘oh my god, it’s f*ckin’ Christmas.’

• I think my crotch is sticking out.
• I’m not trashy, unless I drink too much.
• I’m not pissed off that they put pickles under my bed as a joke, but I’m pissed off that Mike and Pauly wasted two pickles.
• My boobs are so tight. I can’t breathe, is that normal?

• Where are the juice-heads? I don’t see any f*cking guido juice-head, you woke me up for nothing.